Its SF man

Today Sir Loon asked me multiple times whether the bottle(s) in my hands was what he thought it was. Wtf man, what did you think it would have been? I'm highly offended. Really I am. Its SF man

25 Things Which Defined FIFA World Cup 2010: Part IV (10-6)

10. It's a Team Game
World Cups have typically been defined by outstanding individual contributions which the dragged otherwise functional teams to the top - think Maradona in '86, Cruyff in '74, Romario and Baggio in '94 among others. The reasons for this are straightforward, national teams never really get the preparation time needed to drill strategies and formations in the team so that the players can do it even in their sleep, so the most effective teams have been those which maximised individual talent. This is why it is so unusual that this World Cup was dotted by teams who preferred a functional approach where all the players had to contribute instead of relying on a maverick talent to shine. Of the four teams which made the semifinals, only Uruguay could claim to have made it due to the exploits of their two strikers. And it was won by a team which has come to epitomise team football among other things. It's also striking that the teams which were depending simply on their best player to perform faltered badly - Argentina, Portugal and England. Perhaps it is a reflection on the modern game where the physical exertions are so strenuous that no one person can really drag a team on his own anymore. It also coincided with the obvious emphasis on defensive football which of course, needs the team to be working as a unit to be successful.

9. 4-2-3-1
Formations are always but mere tools and cannot be a sole indication of what the team's philosophy is, a defensive 4-3-3 is as much possible as an attacking 5-4-1. Nevertheless, it was instructive to see the majority of the teams adopting the 4-2-3-1 formation in this World Cup. The sudden upsurge in popularity is quite stark and it surely signals the death of the default formation for a couple of decades, the 4-4-2. The reasons behind this are many and, for different teams, varied. One clear reason is that the quality of defenders are not what they used to be, players like John Terry, Pique and Walter Samuel are held to be the standard bearers of centre-backs of this era but, with all due respect, they cannot hold a candle to the Beckenbauers and Maldinis of the past. This seems to have made managers realise the value of screening the defense with two midfielders, Holland made it to the final on the strength of the van Bommel and de Jong partnership in midfield. Another reason is, following the success of Barcelona and Spain, a renewed faith in possession football, for which the team must win the midfield, typically just by sheer numbers. Spain, of course, showed the effectiveness of this. A third reason, as predicted here by the brilliant Jonathan Wilson, is that this formation negates the opposition full backs. This is an evolutionary response to the fact that marauding full backs have become increasingly important in the last decade or so. The 4-2-3-1 seems to be a stable formation which can be moulded to suit both defensive and attacking tendencies and seems to be a good candidate to take over as the default formation in the years to come. If it does, this World Cup will be remembered to have popularised it.

8. Clockwork Oranje
The Netherlands is arguably the best nation never to have won the World Cup. The team of '74 laid down the standard of attacking football by which all future club and national teams have been measured with. They have frequently thrilled in the tournament, most notably '74 and '98, only to fall short due to their famed tendency to suddenly collapse. Holland has always been the quintessential momentum team, capable of beating any team when they are in the groove, but shine the headlights in their eyes and they stop and stare at it in puzzlement, before getting run over. It's this poignant brittleness which has endeared them to many a heart, and most people would begrudge them lifting the trophy at some point of time. But not in the 2010 edition. Holland's march to the final symbolised to many all that was wrong with this tournament. The coach, realising that the country had failed many times over because of a lack of steel set about fixing it by making the defensive midfield partnership of Mark van Bommel and Nigel de Jong the lynchpin of the team. But in doing so, much of the flair was sacrificed. Arjen Robben was the only player given true creative license and even Wesley Sneijder's role was somewhat restricted than what he is used to, something which a creditable return of five goals (albeit most of them fortuitous) could not compensate for spectator value. This new look Holland playing the role of the destroyer angered many, including Cruyff, who disassociated himself with the team. Nevertheless, they reached their third final and if they had won it, all would be forgiven. But that's the problem with teams which start playing contradictory to their philosophies, they must get results to justify it. Holland took their destroyer role against Spain in the final to another level, their hacking and mauling was quite shameful and disturbing to watch at times, but they couldn't stop the Spain juggernaut. Thus they remain international football's nearly men, but this time, few were complaining.

Total Football: Fatality!

7. A Billion Angry Bees
A World Cup in an unusual venue is a chance to experience football in a new atmosphere, even for someone watching it from television. South Africa did a fine job of hosting the World Cup and the uniqueness of the African experience was there for all to see. Unfortunately, the one African experience which will be forever and most excruciatingly associated with this World Cup was the drone of the vuvuzelas. Purported to be a traditional African noise-making ritual when it's in just a plastic, monotonous horn invented by someone enterprising who probably back-dated it into the distant past to give his invention antiquity value, the headache inducing whine which reverberated around the stadiums was probably more disliked than Joey Barton. The only people who wanted to have anything to do with it were the ones who owned the damn thing, which was unfortunately pretty much everyone there (If you can't beat them, join them I suppose). For us watching on television, we could not comprehend how the sound of the billion bees would be found exhilarating by anyone. These instruments are usually a vehicle to show the mood of the fans, but the monotonous nature of the vuvuzelas pretty much makes it impossible to know why the hell exactly is he blowing it.

Much like the acting skills of Keanu Reeves

6. El Guaje is All Grown Up
The title of best striker in the world is arguable to say the least, several contenders vie ferociously for the spot. However, one striker whose skills have, although long recognised. have never been given the top billing it That man is David Villa. He happens to be one of the few pure technically skilled sharpshooters around, whose currency is goals. His ten seasons in Spanish top flight football have yielded at least 15 goals a season in the league, a truly remarkable statistic which not even serial goalscorers like Raul and Inzaghi could boast of at similar stages of their careers. And yet he is much more than a simple poacher, his dribbling skills and passing ability have racked up a number of assists as well. And he has done all this in teams like Sporting Gijon, Real Zaragoza and post Benitez era Valencia, teams which could hardly be called the cream of Europe. He's just one goal away from Raul's Spain record despite having played about 40 times. All this and he has never been truly given his due. This World Cup has changed that perception, as such tournaments tend to do. Villa was the one marksman who provided the edge to Spain's (sometime over elaborate) passing. His five goals were all hugely important, several of them, like his first weaving goal against Honduras and the strike against Chile were absolute class. With Torres having a shocker of the tournament, the burden of finishing the moves fell on his shoulders and he responded. He's just one goal away from Raul's Spain record despite having played about 40 times. He is as deserving of the World Cup win and the plaudits as anyone has been.

25 Things Which Defined FIFA World Cup 2010: Part III (15-11)

15. The Twist of the Knife: Slovakia 3-2 Italy
It's a funny thing to say about the then World Champions, but the writing had been on the wall for Italy for quite some time. A below par performance in Euro 2008 had given the indication that this team had had its last hurrah in 2006 and a revamp was needed. However, Lippi's stubborn persistence in sticking to bulk of the squad which won the Cup but was now over the hill had made even ardent supporters pessimistic of their country's chances. But no one would have thought that Italy would end up bottom of a group which was arguably one any top team would have had no trouble walking through. Insipid draws against Paraguay and New Zealand later, it was hoped that Italy would at least make the knockout stage by beating unheralded Slovakia. Not so, Slovakia gave a performance of their lifetime which was only helped by Italy's laughably awful defense. The minnows were compact and alert on pouncing any chances and bossed the midfield completely and a lead of 2-0 was well deserved. The introduction of Pirlo brought some semblance of structure into the team and they pulled one back with a classy move. However, as if to prove that this return to form was a blip, they again conceded through a through ball from a throw in (yes, you read that right), and that goal encapsulated all that had been wrong with Italy. A sublime chipped goal from outside the box by Fabio Quagliarella notwithstanding, Slovakia pulled off a famous and deserved upset and confirmed one of the most humiliating exit by a holder.

14. The Hand of Suarez
Every story needs a villain, and the moustache twirling, shifty eyed nemesis of the World Cup 2010 became the Uruguayan star striker Luis Suarez when he saved a certain goal right at the death of extra time by whacking the shot brilliantly off the line, with his hand. It's not like he escaped scrutiny, the referee saw it, awarded the penalty and gave him his marching orders. So far so good. But when Asamoah Gyan heartbreakingly missed the penalty, Luis Suarez became the most hated figure in the tournament. Rationale would say that any player in that position would have done the same, also that he had been duly punished by the law. It is also arguable that it was a noble action in that he deliberately took the risk of missing a chance to appear in a World Cup semifinal in favour of keeping his team alive. But emotions aren't governed by rationale and Suarez's villainous swipe became the most hated act in the Cup (except in the quaint country north of the English Channel which is still crying over Lampard's disallowed goal). Of course, his instinctively wild celebrations at the penalty miss and his later boastful comments on it being the new 'Hand of God' didn't help much.

Contender for save of the World Cup

13. Sacreblew It
The France team of '98-'00 was a legendary outfit. Top of the world at the time, it contained some of the best players in recent times and deservedly swept through everything in their wake. Since then, however, the team has been on a decline, a surprise appearance in the final in the last World Cup notwithstanding. The French team of 2010 finally laid to rest the era of the French. Hell it didn't stop there. It dug up the grave, defecated in the coffin and lit the whole thing in flames. France wasn't going down in a mere whimper, it had to make it a circus event. The main reason was their incompetent buffoon of a coach Raymond Domenech, who in six years never really earned the respect of the payers. So much so that when Nicholas Anelka abused him in the tournament and was deservedly sent home for his troubles, the entire team revolted and refused to train. As strong as their reasons may have been, this was a simply inexusable act, you do not shame the badge you are wearing like this. The whole situation quickly descended into a farce and France did not make it past the group stage for the third time in the last five major tournaments. Their campaign left a very ugly taste in everyone's mouths and all the players' careers will be forever tarnished from this. This was no way for an era to wind up.

12. Tears and a Kiss
There are some players who, no matter how recognised they are, you always feel deserve more than what they have achieved so far. Iker Casillas is on his way to becoming one of the all time goalkeeping legends, and has been for some time. He is fiercely adored by the Real Madrid, who have shown great loyalty and love for him even through the toughest times. And he has had tough times, pretty much every season of his career actually. Madrid is as known for its emphasis on attacking football as it is for not giving a flying one when it comes to its defense. In this respect Casillas' heroics in goal have earned them at least 10-12 points a season and no one in a Madrid jersey has deserved the titles they have won in recent times more. Yet there was always the feeling that he is destined for more, maybe the World Cup? This Spain team has been lauded for many things, but their mean defense is always overlooked. And the last line of this defense is the best goalkeeper in the world, and their captain. In fact, this writer believes that Spain won the World Cup when San Iker saved the penalty against Paraguay, because when Casillas is on his game, there is no stopping them. Every World Cup winning team has at least one image which defines it, Iker Casillas provided two. First, when keeper broke down when the winner was scored in the final even while the match was going on, as the magnanimity of what they were achieved, and the second was when he kissed his girlfriend on screen during the post match interview (said girlfriend whose presence was feared by Marca would distract him from playing well. Oh Marca). Two such outpourings from emotion from their normally stoic keeper is emblematic of the relief of shedding burden of under-performance the country has endured all these years. They will be a constant reminder of what a huge achievement this was.

Sealed with a kiss

11. The Shining Black Stars of Africa
Much was expected of the countries representing the African continent in their home World Cup and the continent came wonderfully together in supporting each other. But the teams themselves failed to shine. Nigeria were the worst team in the tournament, Cameroon and Algeria were abject, Ivory Coast had the misfortune of being stuck in the Group of Death and South Africa played their hearts out but the knockout stage was ultimately a step too far. So it was left to Ghana to carry on the torch and the burden of the entire continent when they replicated their 2006 feat of being the only African nation to make it through (without their talisman Michael Essien no less). Ghana was probably the revelation of the tournament. A team which played with its heart on its sleeve and an unmistakable sense of joy. Yes, they were naive and maybe a bit too sang froid for their own good, but they never stopped running and they never stopped trying. USA are a team known for producing athletes, yet Ghana outran and outlasted them, thus reaching their first ever quarterfinal. Their next match against Uruguay was probably the match of the World Cup, an entertaining end-to-end affair which went into extra time and the heartbreaking manner of their exit (see No 14) made them them the tragic heroes of this World Cup. After their 2006 exploits, FIFA.com had commented that this Ghana side is surely one in the ascendancy. FIFA gets many things wrong but in this case, Ghana has since made it the semifinal and final in the two African Nations Cup and now the World Cup quarterfinal. It is indeed not a freak result, the Black Stars have been delivering for a while now, the rest of Africa just needs to take its lead.

25 Things Which Defined FIFA World Cup 2010: Part II (20-16)

20. The Return of the No 10?
A curious side effect of the sudden uniform preference for the 4-2-3-1 was the crucial role of a central attacking midfielder, the classic No 10 or, as they call it in Italy, the trequartista in dictating the attack. It is no secret that for various reasons the No 10 has been dying a slow death. Clubs have discarded it for a while now as the recent trend of have inside out wingers exploiting the space which he would normally occupy leaving the CAM superfluous( there are some notable exceptions though, current Champions League winners Internazionale come to mind). This trend was curiously not replicated in the World Cup as the performance of several teams hinged on how successful their trequartista was. Germany had Mesut Özil, Brazil had Kaka, Holland had Wesley Sneijder, Argentina had Lionel Messi, even Spain played Xavi in an uncharacteristically (and not very effective) advanced role. All of them had the traditional No 10 role of exploiting the confusion between defense and midfield and putting the telling ball in. It will be interesting to see if this catches on in club football as it has been detrimental for several players in the No 10 mould to have been shoehorned into the playing 11 as a winger cutting in or a second striker, something which they are not necessarily suited to, Sneijder's contrasting fortunes in Real Madrid and Inter being a good example.

19. The First Upset - Spain 0-1 Switzerland
The first round of group matches had been such a slumbering drag that everyone was just crying out for something, anything to jolt the Cup into life. It took the very last of the matches of the round between Spain and Switzerland to do so, where Spain after battering, machinegunning and target bombing the Swiss goalmouth inexplicably conceded and never got their grip back in the match. As a World Cup upset this ranks right up there with the best, Spain were arguably the strongest and most gifted team around and they proved it either side of the match, but during it the legendary Ottmar Hitzfeld's stifling tactics stymied them. Although Spain recovered marvelously from the defeat, it set the tone of the World Cup where the favourites kept underperforming and several less heralded teams successfully punched above their weight. In a way, it kick started the World Cup as the lesser teams became more bold and actually looked to drive home the advantage which made the rest of the group stage a bit more interesting. It all contributed to a rather unusual knockout stage lineup.

18. 1966 Revisited
One of the greatest controversies of the World Cup is the 'Ghost goal' in the 1966 final where Geoff Hurst's shot in extra time bounced down the crossbar, hit the ground and jumped out. The goal was given although it was never clear whether it had crossed the line and England won its one and only Cup based on which they delude themselves to be a footballing superpower to this day. The Germans have been crying hoarse ever since to anyone who cares to listen and, to be fair, they may have a point, recent technology indicates the goal should not have stood. What goes around comes around and a major talking point of this World Cup arose when England, 2-1 down against Germany, saw a Lampard shot identically cannon down the crossbar, drop a good foot behind the line and jump out. Everyone in the world saw it cross the line, except the referee and his assistant. Germany would go on to beat England handsomely, and for once the English had the sense not to use the injustice of it as a crutch and accepted that they deserved to lose anyway. Nevertheless, it single handedly renewed the debate on using goalline technology with everyone throwing in their two cents/pennies/paise and the egg on the faces of the FIFA dinosaurs getting poached from the heat of their increasing shame. Well, one would like to believe that but FIFA has been incredibly thick skinned for a long time. At any event, one thing is for certain, Frank Lampard just cannot score in the World Cup, even when he does.

"Come on Ref, even Wenger saw it!"

17. South Africa Shows Us How To Do It
There may have been many things about this World Cup which did not live up to expectations, but the organisation certainly wasn't one of them. Before every tournament there are always noises that the host nation will botch the job. These noises were uncharitably loud for months this time around, probably because it was the first event of this magnitude being hosted in the continent interspersed with a degree of European snobbishness as well. They need not have worried, South Africa had shown in recent years by hosting the cricket and rugby World Cups that they can do the job and they kept their promise. The stadiums were architectural wonders and by all accounts wonderfully crafted, every seat having an unimpeded view of the pitch. There were few complaints on how the influx of people was handled. There were no muggings, no killings, no cannibalism and none of whatever other horrors which had been conjured up by the naysayers who clearly had a 200 year old view of the continent. The World Cup provided a
lovely advertisement of the African people and they took the opportunity in both hands. It may likely go down as one of the best organised World Cups ever.

16. The Greatest Entertainer, Even On The Bench
Think of the World Cup and you think of Diego Maradona. He is the one person unequivocally associated with the highs and lows of the competition. And he was back for one more hurrah at the grand stage, but on the other side of the line as Argentina's manager. In a Cup where few players really shined, it was up to him to steal the spotlight and do something memorable with it. Which he did, from having the winning team in a training match pelt footballs at the losing team in a bizarre exercise of building team spirit to putting in free kick after free kick in the top corner to show that the beach ball Jabulani can be tamed. New chapters were added to the childish tantrum throwings between Maradona and Pele. He saved his best for the bench though in his dapper suit in which he looked as uncomfortable as a cat in a dog pound, as he became one of the players, sharing the joy in every goal and cursing openly for every miss. Every time the ball would come near the bench, he would go over and touch that, the desire to put on a jersey and walk into the pitch was palpable. Maradona's antics went some way in lighting up the tournament. Whether you like him or hate him, hell, you can never ever ignore him.

Maradona shows Higuain that to play football you must use the feet

25 Things Which Defined FIFA World Cup 2010: Part I (25-21)

The 19th football World Cup ended a week ago and now that the proverbial dust is settling down, it seems a good time to take stock of what was an underwhelming tournament but nevertheless one which had several gripping moments, for better or for worse. This is the first in a series of articles about the 25 things for which this World Cup will be remembered.

25. A Worthy Curtain Raiser and the Diski Dance
It seems a long time ago, but it should not be forgotten that in a World Cup saddled with several insipid matches, the first one was an absolute cracker. South Africa 1 -1 Mexico was a see-sawing, gripping game and although it could be argued that Mexico shaded it in terms of performance, no one could begrudge the home team taking something out of it. The opener was an excellent passing move topped off by a wonderful strike from Siphiwe Tshabalala, easily one of the goals of the tournament. The Diski dance celebration became a rage across the continent and will probably become one of the most enduring World Cup goal celebration moments. Mexico's equaliser, although heartbreaking for the majority in the stadium, was fully deserved and a draw was a fair if unsatisfying result. The match left a marker which rest of the tournament could not leave up to.

Tshabalala - A commentator's dream name to scream out

24. USA - No Flash in the Pan
For a country with a considerable sporting culture, the USA has always been a minor player in the international arena at the best of times when it comes to football. However, the signs that it is on the rise have been seen in recent years. After a very commendable performance in last year's Confederations Cup where they were leading 2-0 against Brazil in the final before losing, they have followed it up with a solid showing in the World Cup. A spirited draw against a lacklustre England was followed by an amazing comeback from two goals down against Slovenia to draw the match, a wrongly disallowed goal being the only thing preventing them from winning it. They needed a win in the next match, and Landon Donovan's last minute winner propelled them into the next round as group toppers. The significance of the goal cannot be understated if it does provide the catalyst for the country to continue this progress. A loss in an entertaining match against another tournament find - Ghana - cut short their World Cup adventure but this team has the steel and spirit to spark a revolution in terms of how the game is viewed in the country. In the years to come we may well recognise this World Cup as the tournament where the USA woke out of its slumber.

23. The Stars Fizzle Out
A World Cup is the ultimate stage for any player and the world's best are always expected to shine in it. The reputations of so many players have been defined by their World Cup performances. This World Cup will be known as the one where they simply didn't show up. Some of them were abject failures - Ribery, Rooney; some sparkled in patches but were overall disappointing - Kaka, Ronaldo; some were hampered by injury and fitness issues - Drogba, Torres, and some gave their level best but ultimately could not carry their teams on their own - Messi. It is interesting to note that the one big team which uncharacteristically discarded all individual license and reliance on one player - Brazil - disappointed as well. The teams which did well were the ones who kept a team discipline while allowing for enough creative spirit along the way. There were other players who showed that they could replace these stars and some of them did so marvelously, but so many of the pre-tournament favourites tanking at once merely contributed to the underwhelming tournament.

22. Using Your Head
I will admit to being slightly biased here as I love to see good headed goals, but it cannot be denied that we were treated to several great headers in the World Cup. That is not to say that most of the time the Jabulani did not fly off the the head into orbit but when they got it right, it was a treat. There was Gabriel Henize's fine diving header against Nigeria, Klose's heroic rush in against Australia, Juan's thumping effort against Chile and Tim Cahill's typically wonderful 'header of the tournament' goal against Serbia. Of course, the cherry on top was the now iconic "un-Spanish" goal by Puyol against Germany which sent Spain to their first ever final. Many have commented on the irony that the current flagbearers of 'beautiful football' had to resort to a set-piece routine to finally settle matters but this writer says that a good header is just as beautiful a way to score a goal as anything. So there.

Tarzan goes flying

21. Uruguay - The Surprise Return of a Former Superpower
You have been a brave man if you had bet that out of the unprecedented situation of all five South American teams making it to the knockout stage, the only one which will make it to the semifinal would be Uruguay. They may be two-time former champions but Uruguay's star has long lost its dazzle. Therefore, to see them rubbing shoulders with the world's best again till the end made a welcome and refreshing sight, even though the unsavoury nature of their quarterfinal victory made them the tournament villains in the process. They were powered by the out of the world performances of Diego Forlan who was ably assisted by a solid spine of Diego Lugano, Diego Perez and strike partner Luis Suarez. Yes they had a favourable draw, but let's not take the sheen out of a commendable and deserved run from a team which battled injuries and suspensions throughout and played some fine football along the way. Their match against Germany was probably the best of the tournament. That the age of the team most likely means that this performance will not be repeated in the near future makes their efforts all the more poignant.

Very Comfortably Numb

It took a long time to hit me. I had an outsider's shot at best in the beginning, the interview went well but they didn't really ask me any really tough questions. But at the end of the end, I got the job, and it is the ideal job I could have reasonably expected. Hell it is above expectations, I am a 3 point someone after all.

When did it start sinking in? Not immediately, that is for sure. I was experiencing a surreal perspective where I was looking from outside as a spectator when I first heard it. My mother broke down when she first heard it, and a part of me wondered why she would do that. Even when I shakily signed the contract, it was mostly because of nerves on seeing the big numbers swimming in front of me.

I suppose it first started hitting me in the pub afterward. The more drunk I got, the more the import of what I had just achieved started to sink. If I had to pick a moment, it finally hit me when Comfortably Numb, one of my all time favourites, started to play on the TV. For any graduate of Don Bosco 2006, the song has a special significance. Furthermore, it is the song which really shifted me to rock, a transition I have never had a need to regret. It is a song which has been a constant companion since I first heard it, it is fitting that it capped the declaration of the beginning of the next chapter of my life. The more things change, the more they remain the same. And yet, the only constant is change, one can only hope it is to one's liking. May this next step be as fruitful as I hope it will be.


Enough senti, up next, my top 25 things which defined this World Cup. Watch this space.

And. Here. We... Go

It's been just four years. It's been too long.

The World Cup is starting in a few hours. It is about the only event for which 'the world will stand still' is not just a cliche. It is the first and most vigorously marked day on every football fan's calendar. It creates legends and destroys myths. It is the ultimate test of greatness for any great player, you have not made it until you have performed admirably in your quest for this elegant and coveted trophy. It is contested by teams which are not together for more than a few weeks a year and yet manage to show a solidarity and enjoy uncontestable support unseen in any club. It is the one title which any player says he wants more than anything else, and for once he is not being diplomatic. It is, quite simply, the greatest show on Earth.

So sit back, cross your legs and let the television remote grow cobwebs for the next month. The show is just starting, sunshine.

Homesickness

Very rarely have I felt this emotion even though living away from home is a part of life I had to accept long ago. Then again, almost a year without going home would make even me fidgety to back to Cal, I'm still just a college kid after all. It's been too long since I saw family, friends and the city. It's time I did.

EDIT: Didn't realise this was the 50th post. Wouldn't have wasted it on something emo if I did. Oh well...

The Tractor Goes On And On

About a year back I wrote a small tribute on the greatest defender and one club player in the modern era - Paolo Maldini. His undeniable skill was only accentuated by his longevity, which saw him play at the top level well beyond the age of 40, picking up Champions Leagues like loose change till his late 30s.

Maldini is not alone in giving top class service to their chosen clubs till an age when their contemporaries have switched the ball for other pursuits long ago, although he might be the most successful. Another legend who has arguably achieved as much of a legendary status and will join him when he hangs up his boots shares the same San Siro home stadium, but for the other side. It is of course, FC Internazionale's heartbeat and soul - Javier Zanetti.

Il Trattore

Javier Zanetti, moved to Inter from Banfield at the age of 22, and fifteen years later is still the first name on the teamsheet. By trade a right back, he has unfailingly filled in a variety of positions in defence and midfield for both club and country over the course of his career. Such is his strong association with the team he is the one player any Inter fan can currently definitively identify with among a team bereft of club products or Italians, despite being neither himself. And he shows no signs of stopping.

By trade a right back, he has unfailingly filled in a variety of positions in defence and midfield for both club and country over the course of his career. Not just filling in, he has proven to be a vital cog in the wheel in each of those roles. This is typified by the recent Champions League final which brought the title to Inter after forty five years, he played in centre midfield and stopped Bayern's biggest strength - their midfield - from bossing it, and then left back when the clock was winding down, to keep Arjen Robben quiet. Versatility is sometimes an overrated trait, it is usually attributed to players who are not exceptional in any position but are useful in a variety of positions and can be used to fill in the gaps as a squad player. True versatility is someone who can excel in any position and Javier Zanetti belongs to this rare category. He is 37 now and he runs as much as his younger colleagues and plays every match. Like Maldini, his is not a sentimental selection, Inter still won't know what to do without him.

Inter just won the Champions League, and while it is a team I generally don't care much for, the one satisfaction I got out of it is that Zanetti finally got to hold up the famous trophy. It was the least a legend of his talents and service to the game deserved and no one can really begrudge him having a Champions League winning medal. It is a huge travesty that we won't see him in the World Cup after Maradona picked a range of jokers over him in one of his more inexplicable selections (and he has had a fair few). However, he shows no signs of stopping anytime soon, and who is to say that we won't get to see him four years from now in the biggest stage of them all in Brazil.

The Greatest Title Race Ever?

The most respected achievements are always the ones which are the hardest won. A league title won by a double digit points difference merely emphasises the team's superiority over the rest of the pack but it can never compare to the romanticism and drama of a title race which goes down to the last day. After all, the worth of a team is defined by its rivals and its most satisfying when your rival is almost as good as you, almost.

Never has this been more true than the FC Barcelona - Real Madrid rivalry in Spain and never has this epic rivalry been exhibited more brilliantly than the ongoing 2009/2010 season.

It has been an unwritten law of nature that both teams undergo cycles of fortune which perfectly complement each other. When Barca is riding high, Madrid is struggling to even ride the easy waves, and when Madrid is the closest to the finish line, Barca is stumbling and vainly trying to catch its breath in a faint hope of overtaking its bitter enemy. Even when the title race between the two is close (and it has been several times), there is always the feeling that one of the two deserves it way more than the other one, and it invariably wins it.

This season has broken this law. With the last game of the season to be played in less than 24 hours, Barca hold the slenderest of one point advantages over Madrid. However, this is not astonishing, we have seen this scenario so many times. The astonishing part is the points tally of the respective teams - Barca has 96, Madrid has 95. The previous record tally in La Liga was 92, in a 22 team league. Both teams swept aside this record in a greedy nonchalance while racking up win after win after win. In fact, you'll be hard pressed to find such ridiculous tallies in the archives of all the major leagues.

What is the reason behind such a points glut? Is it, as some have suggested, simply that Barca and Madrid have pulled away from the rest of the pack so much that the other teams will be inevitably defeated and the only two fixtures which will realistically decide the title are the el clasicos? There may be a modicum of truth in that, in that the big two's spending power is infinitely more than the rest and the gap is ever increasing. But when one observes the teams, Barca is essentially unchanged from last year's historic treble winning squad, in fact the one major change - the Eto'o/Ibrahimovic swap has arguably done more harm than good. Madrid's team is vastly improved from last year, but the undiluted individual brilliance in the squad tempered with a characteristic dysfunctional play has only served to bring it up to Barca's level, as the points tally shows.

Nor have the other teams suddenly become worse. Valencia managed to keep its stars against all odds and have done splendidly to finish third after two seasons outside the top four, with breakthrough seasons from the likes of Ever Banega and Pablo Hernandez making them a stronger team than before. Sevilla is similarly unchanged and a mid season change of manager has brought the free flowing football and stability back into the team. Atletico and Villareal have disappointed, the latter very much so since meltdowns are always expected of the mattress makers, but their seasons are negated somewhat by the splendid season Mallorca has had. More importantly, none of these teams have lost any of their significant players, so to characterise them as weaker is certainly a knee-jerk reaction at best.

No, the true reason, as has always been, is each other. Barca and Madrid have pushed each other step by step all season long. Unlike in England, where also the season finished with one point separating the top two but the race was run by trying to make sure that the team stumbled the least number of times, Spain has seen a title race in the teams have made each other run faster and faster and breach previously untouched frontiers. Every comfortable win by Barca has seen Madrid match the victory with a now typical resilient performance and every Madrid thrashing has seen Barca somehow hold on to their nerves and record their own positive result. Barca has lost just one game all season and did the second successive double over Madrid, while Madrid has broken the record for most number of wins, scoring over a hundred goals along the way.

But then why this season over all the others? What makes it special? The primary reason would that the current Barca, which is being talked about in the same breath as the greatest teams ever, achieved so much and so outrageously swimmingly that its eternal rivals could not help but react to this dominance. Thus came the neo Galacticos spending spree and a complete rehauling of the squad which has forced Barca to be even better than it was before. Surely a season which is defined by pushing the boundaries of perfection instead of merely hoping to screw up less than the other fellow deserves to be called the greatest title race ever?

Whatever the reasons, whatever the legitimacy of this assertion may be, the truth is that these performances have been exceptional. Cliches are so because they are often true, and neither is more true than the one that both teams deserve their hands on the trophy. In 24 hours the curtain closes, and it is a huge shame that it has to

Interwebs Funnies

In recent months, I have taken the opportunity (read: procrastination) to the useful ends of increasing my webcomics library. Webcomics hold a unique position in sequential art. They perform the same roles as newspaper comic strips but can push the limits a lot farther because their forum is the internet which isn't bound by censorship. Several webcomics also use unique technological aspects such as flash and GIFs to achieve interesting results. This post is a short but certainly not an exhaustive list of webcomics which I have liked and are worth checking out because, let's face it, you have nothing better to do as well. (Note: If any picture is too small to be legible, don't be stupid and start complaining, just click on it.)

Creme de la Creme
These are the webcomics which are nothing short of trailblazing. They have made the rules which others followed and are some of the finest in humour literature. Definite must reads.

xkcd
One of the all time classics, this self styled "webcomic of romance, sarcasm, math and language" is easily one of the most intelligent webcomics around. Rightly regarded as one of the best ever, some of the trains of thought explored in this comic are truly and absurdly unique. You are not an internet geek until you have experienced xkcd.

Sample:

Bonus: Roll over mouse on the cartoons in the site for extra quip.


The Perry Bible Fellowship
I was recently introduced to this webcomic and I am still angry at myself at not having discovered it earlier. An absolute gem, each and every one of the comics is a classic in itself. This comic mastered dark humour, hardly anything else has come close in terms of shock value. Another highlight is the excellent art, a rarity for webcomics, the artist is able to switch from disparate styles like hard boiled noir to pretty pink ponies nonchalantly. A must read, if you can stomach it at its worst.

Sample:


Bizarro
Not exactly a webcomic as the Bizarro strip is an old and popular syndicated newspaper strip, but the creator Dan Piraro does put up his offerings on his blog. The forte of this comic is surreal, wacky humour backed by the art to pull it off. Its a wonder how this hasn't become as popular as some of the truly insipid offerings in newspaper funnies but it deserves its spot among the top. His blog is an excellently bizarre read as well, one could do worse than taking the crazy train with him.

Sample:

Bonus: Go treasure hunting for his hidden symbols inside every comic


Best of the Rest
This are some webcomics which are brilliant and deservedly lauded in their own right, although they may lack just that extra bit to not make it to the cream. Nevertheless, they are definitely essential reading as well and are excellent ambassadors of the medium.

Cyanide and Happiness
A controversial choice to be put in the second tier I am sure, C&H (not the one with the boy and his stuffed tiger) is widely regarded as one of the best webcomics ever created. Created by a four member team, each member is able to bring his unique perspective while conforming to the overall theme of the comic to maintain the flow. And that theme is vulgarity, dark, dark humour and extreme political incorrectness. Not for the easily offended, definitely for the rest.

Sample:
Bonus: Check out their animated shorts too.

Piled Higher and Deeper (PhD)
A webcomic which is a must read for any student. Astonishingly hilarious, the travails of a bunch of graduate students in Stanford is made all the more awkwardly funny by the fact that so much of it is actually true. Who here hasn't experienced the scoffing of the clock because he plans to pull an all nighter and then opened his eyes five minutes later to see its morning? Or waited all day outside the professor's chambers only to be told to come tomorrow? Or.. well, the examples are endless. PhD is to students what Dilbert is to office goers, the sarcastic humour lightens the mood and makes the journey that much more bearable.

Sample:

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
The webcomic which I have been reading the archive of in the last week or so and what inspired me to write this post. An excellent politically incorrect comic, the common trick in the strips is to give a normal situation and then make it absurd through a subsequent comment or caption which totally changes the perspective. This can make it a bit predictable at times, which is why its in the second tier. A special mention to the recurring Jesus and sexist jokes. They are some of the best.

Sample:
Bonus: Roll over mouse on the red button underneath the comic in the site for extra comic.


Worth a Glance
These are some webcomics which are either not as good to be clubbed among the ones in the above lists or are just too specific to be for everyone's tastes. Nevertheless, they offer something different and will give good value if your taste coincides with theirs. If you're interested by its concept go for it.

Studs Up
A bloody brilliant webcomic on football, it would have definitely made it above the list if everyone loved the game. Sadly, most of the world's problems can perhaps be attributed to this failing of a good chunk of humanity. As for me, since I love both football and comics, how can I possibly not like it. Since he's best when poking fun of something current in football, here's a recent offering.

Sample:


Loli Loves Venom
A cute little webcomic with excellent art, the premise is that the mean old Marvel supervillain Venom somehow becomes the pet of a little girl. This leads to bizarrely hilarious situations (all within the awww quotient of course). A pity that the comic was cut short when real life caught up with the creator. The good news is that she is thinking of bringing it back now.

Sample:

Batman and Sons
It started out as a response by the creator who had got tired of heavy continuity laden superhero stories and wanted to see something which harkened back to the clean, fun days of yore. So he made a short stand alone story of Batman and his Robin kids and put it up on his deviantart profile. The concept became so popular that it grew and now it is a respected webcomic among superhero comic lovers. Requires a minimum knowledge of DC to properly appreciate but don't let that stop you. I have linked to his deviantart profile because that's where it all started but if you google the name, you'll find his blogs where he puts them up as well.

Sample:




Well then, that's three webcomics in each category and I think I'll stop here. There's a lot more which could have been added into any of these lists but these posts is too long already. It's not going to help my reputation of writing long, meandering posts. I can always bring out a Volume 2 if need be. Later.

La Pulga (The Flea)

There are some players who you want to see play all the time. There are some players who are so good you secretly love watching them even if they played for your hated rivals. There are some players who can inspire such loyalty that you would change club allegiances if they move.

Then there are the very few, very special players who it is simply a privilege to experience. Who do things which haven't been done before and will likely not be repeated in your lifetime. Whose brilliance transcends boundaries and unites every fan in experiencing that simple feeling which is the hardest to command - the pride of saying "Yes, I was there. I've seen him play."

Lionel Andres Messi is such a player.


This is like flogging a dead horse, no? Reams have been written about him in recent times, nothing really is left to be said. Hell, even the narrow minded English football fan who is myopic enough to believe that Theo Walcott is the X-Factor in any game, let alone a game against Barcelona, is coming around to the realisation that the lad probably is actually good. But really, how can I not?

Leo Messi is making the impossible routine. In the last 30 days he has scored 16 goals. 16! That's more than what Emile Heskey has scored in the last three seasons. Combined. He scored thrice three times in 2010 including in two successive matches in the league and so made the hattrick passe. Therefore, he went and scored four yesterday against Arsenal. And the scariest part is, yesterday wasn't his best performance, he is capable of doing better. And he is only 22.

But the statistics are not the point. They are just a side effect of his brilliance. The point is his brilliance. The point is it is such a joy for anyone to watch him play. The sheer raw innocence of taking defenders on and beating them every single time. He is the child who never grew up, the child who made a monkey's uncle of his playground opponents just because he could, and still does it. He is what we all daydreamed of becoming during our childhood, he is our dreams magnified. As Sid Lowe puts it, "he has made the ridiculous so routine that he doesn't get talked about as much as deserves; playing perfectly is hardly news." He has scored more solo goals in this calendar year than most Ballon d' Or winners have scored in their career. He is a throwback to an era when skill was more valued than physicality, he has shown that genius cannot be obtained merely by being the fastest runner or the strongest bulldozer. He makes the cheeky lovable, the impudent adorable. And he does it all without declaring that he is the first, second and third best in the world. He doesn't need to.

Leo Messi has become so good that the debate is no longer whether he is the best player in the world. The debate has shifted to whether he is the best player ever. While that is something which can only be decided at the end of his career, it is easy to see what the next step towards achieving that status is - the World Cup. Although I am traditionally a Brazil fan, a part of me will be cheering him on this time. And you wouldn't put it past him to do a Maradona and drag his country to the trophy.

Regardless of what happens, even if he by, the unlikeliest of transfers, moves to Real Madrid, I will watch him play as much as I can. Yesterday, a new mission was added to my 'things to do before I die' list; I have to watch him play live once. Because then I can boast that "Yes, I was there. I've seen him play."

Indie Richness: Review of "Too Cool to be Forgotten"

There are times when I get in the mood of reading comics which I have never heard of. At these times I trawl through the offerings of certain publishers like Top Shelf, Oni Press and Fantagraphics who consistently bring out top draw stuff in the writing department, even if the overall effect isn't as flashy and clean as the ones brought out by bigger publishers with better budgets. I also keep an eye out for certain scanners who specialise in making these unheralded comics available, one is especially indebted to Dts who happens to be one of my favourite scanners for this reason. I am rarely disappointed by these comics and they offer a clean outlet for someone who is fatigued by epic, connecting storylines as I, being a voracious DC reader, often get. This then is how I keep expanding my Indie comics collection.

One of the comics I encountered in this way was this - "Too Cool to be Forgotten". I had absolutely no idea what the graphic novel is about, the description offered little, but the cover and name were intriguing and Top Shelf is stunning when it comes to delivering human stories. So I decided to take the plunge. What I got was a brilliant emotional roller-coaster of a tale of reflection, humour and ultimately of denial and acceptance. As with most good things, the setup is simple. The protagonist is a man in his forties who wants to stop smoking but has tried and failed every conventional method to do so. At his wife's insistence, he decides to go to a hypnotist who believes that the power of mind and belief can help one cure anything. For their session she sends him back to his high school years without warning and the rest of the comic has him reliving those days as a 40 year old in his 15 year old body.

The storyline is taut and the awkwardness of an old man going through high school is brilliant. It's a good setting for humour and Alex Robinson doesn't disappoint. The scene where his head starts swimming when he sees long forgotten algebra and trigonometry equations is hilarious. (Hell, I left maths four years ago and I felt the same when my sister came to me to teach her.) And of course, experiencing the sudden rush of teenage hormones again would leave anyone disoriented.


The humour is ultimately a brilliant easing of a poignant tale on his search for why he has been transported to this period. His search leads him to the recollection of a party where he smoked his first cigarette and he comes to the conclusion that if he attended it again and declined the offered cigarette then his problems are solved and he'll go back to his time a cured man. After suitable drama and mishaps he manages to say 'no' but the solution fails. Confused, he becomes resigned to living his entire life all over again when the true reason of his affliction hits him. The final scene of him coming to terms with it is one of the most powerfully written scenes in fiction and one cannot help but feeling what he is feeling when he is going through those raw emotions.

The writing and pacing is exceptional and is the definite highlight of the comic. The dialogue, while messy and forced at times, is otherwise natural manages to drive home the point. The art while being simple complements the story well and it probably helped that nothing too complicated was required to embellish it. Any lover of humane stories with a touch of surrealism must read this and for the rest, what's stopping you anyway? It's a pity how there are so many unheralded works in fiction just because they are low-budget and not advertised well. The Indie comics scene is filled with rich stuff, methinks I will plunge into it now.

More Than Just The Cantera

There has been a lot of talk over the last couple of years on how FC Barcelona is a model club in that they have built a champion football team primarily through youth products with the occasional astute signings. While it is certainly true that La Masia is currently the leading youth academy in the world which includes not just the players currently playing in the club, but others like Fabregas, Arteta and Capel who are enriching other teams and leagues as well. However, it is a bit of an stretch to hold a moral high ground solely on the basis of how many youth products are in the first team and frankly unfair on the Ronaldinhos and Eto'os who came to the club and became legends by their own right. It is also a stretch to declare that this has always been the Barca philosophy.

Not the complete story

Youth systems go through their own golden periods where by a mixture of coincidence and a good system a bunch of talented players come together at once. Barca is having one now, in the 90s it was Ajax and Manchester United, in the 80s Real Madrid's five title winning team was built on a spine of home grown players. Before the rules regarding foreign players were relaxed, every team was anyway dependent on its youth products and the occasional foreign star.

While it is true that to preserve the Catalan identity of the club there has always been an emphasis on having Catalans playing for the club and this invariably means a healthy focus on the youth academy, it is not like Barca has always been a flagbearer in having teams which are solely dependent on home grown players. The Dream Team and throughout the 90s there were more than a fair share of first teamers who were bought from outside. If one remembers the sorry Gaspart era, Barca had a Madrid spending policy, except without the titles (brr). In recent history, the focus on youth products was only intensified in the later stages of Rijkaard and of course Guardiola eras of which the fruit is being reaped now.

While it is heartening and certainly a source of pride that the sextuple was truly won by a team which was mostly built from ground up, it should be remembered that a lot of this is down to the good fortune that players like Xavi, Iniesta and Messi have come together at once instead of ten years apart. I am more proud of the fact that no matter who is coaching or where the players come from, our attacking philosphy which was defined by Cruyff has remained steadfast and all the players from Messi to Oleguer have to accede to it. That philosophy is what really defines Barca, not how many youth products started the CL final. And that is why I support the club.

I Am Youuuu!

An old Youtube classic. If you haven't seen it, shame on you. Watch it now. If have seen it, you know you want to see it again.



Heh. Clone baby gets me everytime.

Some Things Don't Change, Even When They Do - Delhi

Hello, my fictional readership. You must be wondering about the reason of my long absence. It's just my last post was my 42nd and the Hitchhiker in me couldn't resist keeping it that way.
Not really, I've just been too lazy, no other excuses.
Hell, why do I need an excuse? It's my blog, I can be as frequent as I want to in updating it. You're not the boss of me. Especially since you don't exist.

...

Well, that was fun. Anyway, the subject of this post is my long overdue return to Delhi, the city I lived in for three years and left in 2001. It would be an understatement to say that the city I left doesn't exist anymore. When I left, Dhaula Kuan was still a circle, now it's a mess of flyovers. I was so disoriented I went past my school and only realised it at the last moment. And that was just the beginning, the city has changed enormously in the span of a decade and some parts are pretty much unrecognisable. A lot of the changes are good, the roads have become wider, the Metro is a godsend, the booze is cheaper than Bangalore. But for someone who expected a little more familiarity, this has been unnerving. Still, I was able to orient myself after a week and now I am comfortable with it.

Of course, some things never change. Old Delhi is still the same, with its narrow busy roads and delicious cheap food (or diarrhoea if you don't know where to look for it). The corridors of power remain pristine. Outer CP has the same charm even though the inner circle has changed face completely. And the heartbeat of the city ticks the same way, Delhi was, is and always will be a city of people who are show offs and ill-tempered, but at the same time go the extra mile in helping you. And it is the people who really make the city after all, they breathe life into the facade.

I am more than two weeks into my stay now, and although I would have liked to travel around a it more by now, it's been an enjoyable stay. I wouldn't mind working here if the opportunity would arise. I find that I still like the city.

Except for the part where my phone got stolen. Sucks.

Omnia mutantur, nihil inherit.

Comeback of (Out of) Sorts

It's 7:30 am. I haven't slept all night.

In fact, I've slept three hours in the last three days because I've been working on my moot memorials (which just got submitted, fingers crossed). Now I can do with sleep deprivation better than most people, but this is really, pushing it.

No point in going to sleep now, I'll miss class. Speaking of which, first two hours is the attendance cutting marching maniac, super-Nagarathna Saibaba. And she hates me. So I can't afford to sleep for the first two hours.

It's a perfect recipe for disaster.

Might as well go shave and remove the two week old itchy-scratchy beard. If I am found death with a pool of blood coagulating around my throat, please note that it wasn't a suicide attempt. I probably dozed off and used the razor as something to lean on.